...

it's again 12 something at night.. and just when i thought i was gonna be fine, my blocked nose decided to come back and made me otherwise.. so once again i'm unable to sleep so i decided to let some things out..

new semester begins tomorrow.. sigh.. i seem to be not ready for it.. seems like i still wanna enjoy the holidays (not exactly enjoyable but the prospect of not studying is fun) anyway, another 4 months of hustle wustle it seems.. speaking about 4 months, no doubt this will be the toughest 4 months in my life, unless something happens.. i don't know whether i can cope with it.. asked God the other day for an answer.. i don't know whether i got one but i assumed i did when He made me feel calm.. real tough.. sigh..

another 7 days and form 6 begins.. i'll be going back to school for the first day only.. lol.. my mum says i'll wreak havoc in school.. seems like she finally understands her son.. lol.. here's exactly what she said, "habis la.. kecoh".. mummy mummy, i'm not that bad of a student ok.. besides not liking to tuck in and keeping the hair short and running around making noise, i make a fairly good student.. and that's why i would love form 6 in St. Joe.. definitely a no no to be in batu lintang.. two reasons.. one, my mum's teaching there so i gotta keep her reputation clean by being a goodie goodie which i totally despise.. two, it's such a disciplined school, something i've never been through before (St. Joe, do take it as a compliment.. lol..)

so it seems i'll only be looking forward to next monday.. definitely not looking forward to this particular sem's classes.. all so boring.. need someone to keep me awake in class!! but i do have a resolution of nailing at least 3A+ this sem, just to maintain my last sem performance.. so i guess i'll be awake and pay attention.. no more throwing paper ball in class i guess.. wait wait wait, hell no i'm not gonna throw paper ball.. IT'S DAMN FUN!! so watch out nyko, the moment you lay a finger on me in class the paper balls are gonna start flying.. mood mood mood..

speaking of mood, seems like someone's not in a fairly good one.. tough tough toughie tough.. feels so different.. oh well, i'm living and riding with it.. and with this attitude, one day you're gonna get annoyed with me as so it seems.. since i'm already making things hard for you.. anyway, everyday's a new day so how it passes has been decided by God.. reminds me of a hymn song (pius should know this)


Do not worry over what to eat,
what to wear or put upon your feet.
Trust and care go do your best today,
leave it in the hands of the Lord,
leave it in the hands of the Lord.

so i ain't gonna worry about it.. leaving it in the hands of the Lord..

oh well, seems like this blocked nose is killing me.. which it did so i don't have to suffer but no no, i'm not ready to die since there's some things left to be done.. so i quote bruce willis, 'live free or die hard'
reminds me of jason's stupid question, why live when you can die?? well mate, it seems i've found one super good reason to live, and i'm not sharing with you.. lol.. crazy crazy crazy..

things are just so crazy right now.. oh and i'll be going to the bus station on friday with jay.. will be accompanying him as he sends off his girlfriend who's going for matrix.. pity pity considering it's only a month's plus they got to spend time together.. lucky me i still have 4 months.. lol..

looking at the things here from a different perspective, it seems life is indeed full of twist and turns.. and it's up to a person on how to deal with it.. in this case, i'd assume the winner here would be an optimistic person since they're able to adapt and deal with the twists and turns.. anyway, a life wouldn't be a life worth living if there's no twist and turns, no?? sure you'll say that it would be better without the twists and turns but wait till you really experience that.. you'll be begging God for the twists and turns i assure you.. us catholics have a hymn for this..

Yes i thank you Lord,
for the trials that come my way
In that way i can grow each day
as I let You lead.

so to everyone out there, be it optimist or pessimist, emo or gothic or whatsoever, just leave it in the hands of your God and let him lead.. that way, you'll find a new lease in life and then as a whole, we'll thank God for everything..

well well, i'm gonna try draining two bottles of water now to see if it can make me feel better, though i'm sure i won't sleep after that because of the frequent visits to the toilet.. lol.. so i guess i'm off now..

if only i could understand you, and you can understand how it is for me, it will all be a dream