the 2 a.m. curse??

it's almost two in the morning.. and guess what, i'm awake.. and nope, no more stomach pain this time.. lol.. just can' sleep with all those things running around in your head.. how i wish they were cows.. i'm sure i'd fall asleep counting them.. i love numbers.. makes me sleepy..

i'm gonna go back to sri aman today, i guess.. provided no last minute cancellation then i'll be off before 8?? i don't know.. i'm done packing and all.. nothing much to pack considering it's only two days and one night worth of stay.. looking forward to getting out of town and just hit the village area.. out of civilisation?? i guess not considering there's internet(broadband) and astro to watch there.. the only difference is it's much more laid back and peaceful with the greens..

looking forward to go for a run with the dogs.. oh wait, they all passed away!! i totally forgot.. hopefully the cats are still around..and of course to chill with my grandparents.. most definitely, this is the last time they'll get to see me.. i pray that they will be able to see the day i come back upon finishing my studies.. they're not that young anymore but i really hope and pray they'll be able to see their grandson back with an overseas degree (and probably overseas accent while speaking to them??? LOL..)

and lately i'm feeling different.. i'm tired all the time.. is it the lack of sleep or some changes that has been occuring lately.. i don't know.. all i know is i'm always so tired nowadays.. affects the whole system really.. mentally, physically, psychologically and all the other possible -ly.. i don't know why.. but it has been happening ever since that day, come to think of it.. hmmm..

i'm still waiting for my cousin who's studying in kl to come back.. i wonder why he's not back yet.. if i'm not mistaken his break should begin already.. unless i'm mistaken.. though i really am looking forward to his return.. then i'll have so much fun because he is super funny, or rather i've good chemistry with him.. lol..

speaking of chemistry, i just realised how much i actually missed the subject.. heard some dude saying some chemical equation out this afternoon in inti and all that i know on chemistry suddenly whoops back in.. wonderful.. titration, neutralisation, metal displacement, acid base, transition elements, balancing of equation... damn i just miss chemistry!! lol.. now i regret not taking up science subjects from jpa.. sheesh.. but a me doing chemical engineering?? hell no.. lol.. i guess i'll stick to tourism though i've plans to switch to actuary science (without my parents knowing, if i have the chance) dealing with statistics and all would be fun; mean, mode, median, standard deviation, variance..

parents parents.. and mummy saved my life today, literally.. had she not called out my name when i almost got hit by a car while walking on the road without exactly paying attention (i consider head down while walking on the road isn't exactly a smart thing to do), i'd probably be a goner right now and won't be writing this.. lol.. though being a goner sounds kinda cool.. but i've got to admit, if i were to be a goner now, i'd rather because of swine flu.. i'll go down in history as the first sarawakian to die because of that.. pretty cool kind of death, rather than your usual hit-and-die kind of thing..

and oh ya, mara students got their letter edi (those who got the mara scholarships) i wonder when jpa would send mine out.. i really wanna know which country i'd be going to.. not USA i hope (swine flu!!) UK would be great cuz then i'll get to watch the premier league and wimbledon.. but australia would be fine since they have the australian open.. speaking of tennis, i'm thinking of getting back the groove and hopefully get to play some college tennis when i'm overseas.. doubt i'll pull it off but maybe it's worth a shot.. after all, we never know what God has in store for us.. haha..

sometimes i think life just kicks you hard in the face, no?? well, it happens and there's nothing you can do about it.. then again, nothing is impossible.. lol.. i think the next time i get kicked hard in the face, i'll twist it to the extent than i would feel i never get kicked at all.. sounds impossible?? maybe not.. oh well.. let's just try try try..

speaking of try, i'm trying my very best in one thing.. doesn't seem to be working.. probably i should just resign to the fact that it won't do and i'm sure you already made up your mind seeing what you did tonight.. leaving leaving leaving..

ah, i'm starting to get my optimism back though i'm still tired.. and i'm super sure i'll still be tired tomorrow (today) bad thing is i'm not gonna be able to go to church to be a hundred percent back.. hmm, when can i go i wonder.. maybe sunday evening alone at church would be brilliant.. yeah, i'll go alone... hope mummy doesn't tag along.. haha..

i guess i should try to get some sleep though i'm sure i'll be spending the three hours ride sleeping at the back of the car.. wonder if my cousin amy coming along.. makes no difference anyway.. though i'm sure she'll be OK to talk with, in a way.. i guess i don't talk much to her though i'm super close to her brother.. why o?? amy amy..

so i'm off to catch a train to lala land as one would say.. lol..

-hurt-