problem..

problem problem problem.. something that you will always find in life.. wish i could live a problem free life though.. but no, something else came about.. it's about making choices this time.. i'm in a situation where just few months ago i didn't have to worry about making choices..

i'm currently studying hospitality.. lots of people are saying i'm wasting my ability.. i never bothered because i never liked studying.. i can study and excel (proven considering i aced all the public exams) but the problem is i don't like to study which is why i resorted to hospitality cuz i thought i wouldn't have to put so much effort.. stupid me huh?? sure enough i'm doing well in hospitality without that much of an effort.. so i should be proud right??

then came a message from mimi this morning.. she said i should think of my future.. in which i did.. and i came to realise, its not worth to waste my ability (took me long enough) i'm thinking of changing to A levels now but but but the problem here is, where do i go after that?? sure i can be a doctor or an engineer.. but what if i don;t get accepted into any other institution after finishing my A levels?? i don't wanna be stuck with on A level cert only.. and i've been told the only option is private institution.. i'm not from a rich family and and i have a sis who is gonna pursue tertiary education same time as me (and i thank you cia aka my sis for not striving in form 5 and form 6 so now my parents have to find money for your education) not that i'm that good considering i'm still feeding from mum and dad's money to study but the least is i wanna change things now.. only God knows how regretful I am for not having the interest to study.. i still have jpa to look forward to but it's not medical or engineering, it's tourism (yes i know how stupid i am to apply for this after scoring 10a1..)

now i'm lookng for ways to see if i can get myself into the medical field.. tough.. and my mum is not being supportive by lecturing me on how she used to tell me i should have applied medical and all those nonsense.. but mum, you gotta realise your son here is indian and what are the odds of him getting medicine from jpa?? he's got a slightly better chance in tourism so i'll be thankfukl if you stop lecturing me on the application.. you said it yourself before that tourism is good and now you lecture me.. stress stress stress.. been a long long time since i was this stressed.. the only option i can think of is to go back to form 6 then from ther i'll see what i can do.. the prospect of not doing well in form 6 has never come into my mind cuz i believe i can do well in it.. just that i won't be abl to play around as much like now..

if only i was a bumi (thanks dad for NOT trying to change our blood status even though we qualify) IPTA would've accepted me to do medicine right after form 5.. then again it could be the government's fault since only bumi can apply for medical in IPTA aftr form 5(no kidding.. check the bloody IPTA application thingy) probably it's about time samy vellu start doing things for indians rather than worry about his fake hair looking good or not.. problem problem problem..

currently in damai puri now.. hoping to get some peace and some solution to my problem here.. i'm wondering now, as i'm sitting facing the seaside (the view from the room) why is it that hospitality don't get as much attention as medical students?? or lawyers?? or even engineers?? why why why?? weird.. but i guess that
s probably a norm here in malaysia huh.. sigh..

i'm thinking, to hell with studying medicine but but if i graduate with a medical cert, probably then i'll make my mum proud.. but lifeless considering you'll literally be married to the hospital.. so i'm still unsure.. as i'm watching the sunset, hopefully it will take my problem away and when the sun rise tomorrow hopefully it'll bring a better tomorrow..